Tuesday, March 25, 2008 Definition of Love And by that, I mean a romantic kind of love. What makes it different from other kinds of love, like the bond you have between friends or family? When does it become THAT kind of love? I never said I didn’t believe that love exists, for people who are reading this and are wondering. I said it’s unbelievably hard to find, and there’s a much haigher possibility of me getting fucked over in the process of trying to find it than actually finding it. And by that, I meant ANY kind of love between people-family-ish, friends, romantic. But... the latter even more so. The latter the most. It’s the hardest to find, maintain, and the easiest to fuck up. But now I doubt it really exists ay all. Think about it, when does love become like that between spouses/significant others? When you add in lust, it becomes like that. Take lust away, and it’s not like THAT anymore. Is that kind of love...or should I say, lust...whatever...just an illusion in our minds created to help us reproduce? I’ve been thinking about this lately for...one reason. People who know me know I’m a huge manga fan-not of anime though, cause the animes usually fuck up the author’s story. I recently finished Ayashi no Ceres. It’s based on the Asian legends of the "angel" or "tennyo" who fell from the "heavens" who depended on some kind of robe for her life. A man steals her robe or "hagoromo", forces her to marry him and have kids with him, and never returns her robe so that she can’t go back to "heaven". That’s an Asian folklore. In this story...the "angel" and man keep getting reincarnated through their descendants throughout the ages. The angel always does through the girls, but it doesn’t become apparent until the girl turns 16. Then the angel’s soul kind of "takes over" the girl’s body, the man "takes over" whatever body he’s been reincarnated into. The angel, understandably very upset, wants revenge and kills off her children to get rid of the descendants she had with the man. So the family who the angel had tests all their girls at 16 to see if the angel’s been reincarnated through her, and if she is, they kill her. But now they’re also trying to work with the man who forced the angel to marry him and create a "superior race" using girls who have the angel’s blood/genes in them. The story follows a girl named Aya who’s a reincarnation of the angel (she only knows after her family test her at 16 and she turns into the angel) and her twin brother Aki who is the reincarnation of the angel’s husband (he gets severe wounds on his body cause the angel did fuck up the man or whatever) after they escape the family’s little test. So obviously, if you’re gonna read it, you should be warned it’s a really dark theme/material. It rotates around a legend that kind of begins with rape, there’s the inscest thing (cause the husband’s reincarnation is her damn TWIN BROTHER) and the concept overall is the subject of sex. There’s rape in it. And it’s upsetting, especially if you’re a woman that’s ever been degraded by a man. A reoccuring question in the book is...what I just asked. There’s a lot of talk about "seeds" and "sexual reproduction", the purpose of it, and what love has to do with it. How you can have sex with someone while feeling absolutely nothing for them, how sexual reproduction diversifies the species, etc etc. Why do we have two different genders, and why does any living organism "mate"? For the sake of reproduction. Of course that’s not what the book’s stating, it’s just the topic/question. The main characters actually don’t believe in that, but their expirences say otherwise, and they don’t have anything to back up their end of the argument. That love isn’t "just that". Spoiler here...but in the end, after the angel kills her husband, she’s all, "Did you ever really, you know, love me?" he’s like, "Yeah I always loved you, I just didn’t understand you". Then they go "truth is we always deeply loved each other". ..............................................................okay......................................That’s not love. He let her get raped, held her captive, she tortured him, used him, and killed him. They both lied, cheated, schemed, stole from each other and stabbed each other in the back. Many times over, while they kept being reincarnated. That’s not love. That’s sick, twisted and fucked up. I can’t believe they even though of putting that in at the end. I’m not stating anything...but it was just heavy on my mind. I’ll always believe that it’s hard to find, and that it’s dangerous to search when you probably won’t find it at all, but...I belived it did EXIST. It was rare, but it existed between very few people. Now I’m not sure. I guess there’s a reason most fairytaltes are based on that kind of love. Maybe cause that concept itself IS a fairytale. The biggest one, probably.